December 2
From my brain
Contents |
2008
Me 12:54, 2 December 2008 (EST)
There is a distinct danger when you are tempted to reply to an email from your boss that asks, "What is holding this up?" with a simple comment: "Apathy."
I'm having a growing sense of despising myself the longer I work here and remain under VCS. I have not motivation to come in to work most days much less do my work in a timely manner. My work ethic has gone to places that I could never have even imagined. I don't like who I am as an employee anymore.
You would think there would be some small core of me that wants to improve myself, to make the effort to change. That only causes me to dislike myself more. I just don't want to.
Here I sit doing the same job function for 10 years, having been mistaken by coworkers and upper managers as the manager of this group. Then this slimy, ass-kissing, jerk comes in here three or four years ago and destroys ever thing this group has stood for. He brute-force grabs data from the operational systems. He talks down to nearly everyone especially if he's a manager role above them. Now, they've taken and made him AVP in the company.
I hate feeling sorry for myself on this, but I did used to give a rats ass about working here. I used to work my ass off to get stuff done. Now, I just honestly don't give a shit.
And that really doesn't make me like Me.
2005
Me 00:08, 02, December 2005 (EDT)
Get your favorite bloghost a Christmas gift. XXXL please.
2004
Me 16:51, 02, December 2004 (EDT)
!@#$ Typing Skills
Well, I mistyped my credit card info on Tuesday, so they couldn't process the rent. Unfortunately, they emailed me at my home account. As Zejan still is working on the router, I don't dare run my machine without having a router or having a firewall, I haven't checked email in awhile. (I have 220 messages there since shutting her down on 11/20 -- 79% of which is spam).
I corrected. We're back up. Many thanks to Ceraun for noticing and advising me early. :)
2003
Me 20:27, 02, December 2003 (EDT)
So, Friday I went in and had my CT scans done. Drank the nasty stuff (which wasn't so nasty cuz it was put in REAL grape juice, not Crystal Light), they put me in the donut, injected some more radioactive chemicals into me, and then put me back in the donut some more.
I went into the machine feet-first, with my head comfortably on a pillow. Since they were scanning my chest, abdomen, and naughty parts, this seemed natural. However, the tech was nice, and I was relaxed, so I missed something important.
THEY SKIPPED MY NECK!
I mean, that's where all the paranoia is coming from. Swallowing/laying on my side and all and feeling like you're at that lump-in-the-throat pre-crying point 80-90% of your day, having had lymphoma in the same general area, tends to make one freaked out. I recalled mentioning that over the phone when I wanted to get the appointment in the first place.
But did they scan my neck? No. So, I call them on Monday, which of course, they're at lunch (fuckin office doesn't open until 9, lunch from 12:30 til 1:30, then they close at 4:30...fuck bankers hours, I wanna work in a doctor's office). They finally call me back - 15 minutes before they close, and we miss getting through. I leave a message last night, and then have to call back anyway this morning.
The short end of this story: They got me in for another scan, but it's Thursday, and at 6PM. So, I gotta truck over to Westerville during my lunch, in the twilight of rushhour, get filled with another shot of radioactive chemicals, and sent through the donut. And what's worse.....I can't get into the doctor to see him regarding the results until Tuesday.
Yeah! Another week of freaking out! Lucky me. (Where's my cider?)
